is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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