come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
