We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
