Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
