At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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