So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
