Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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