I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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