giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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