I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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