I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
