hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
