2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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