The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
