please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's shark week go big or go home
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
