i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
