fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
