I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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