There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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