i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
