Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
They have beer where we have blood.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
