Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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