Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
