do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
