Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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