Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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