The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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