We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
