i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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