you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"it" just moved
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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