marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
