you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
MIDGETS
????
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
