butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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