I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
