btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
