He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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