but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
