Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
