my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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