Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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