i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
