Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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