btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
