Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
