Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
