I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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