We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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