I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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