She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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