i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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